How I learnt to accept change

The more I began to hate it, the more it started to take over me. It felt as if life could sense my fears. It felt as if life kept trying to mock me in the most unexpected ways. And it felt as if I would never be able to find the strength to accept things as they were, to forget about the past and truly live in the present, to enjoy every single day, to live in the moment and to be grateful for the things I have.
Change – it’s something that has always scared me the most in life. And I’m not just talking about the big changes. No, I mean change of all kinds and in all ways – whether it’s something as trivial as changing the furniture in my bedroom to something as depressing as my best friend shifting to a far-away city. I had always despised it. I had always tried to run away from it. And I had always thought of it as the worst aspect of human life.
But the more I began to hate it, the more it started to take over me. It felt as if life could sense my fears. It felt as if life kept trying to mock me in the most unexpected ways. And it felt as if I would never be able to find the strength to accept things as they were, to forget about the past and truly live in the present, to enjoy every single day, to live in the moment and to be grateful for the things I have.
Every time a change in my life made me felt uncomfortable, made me step out of my comfort zone, and brought me face to face with all the insecurities I always tried to keep hidden, I wondered if I was the only one who keeps feeling this horrible. I wondered if there was something seriously wrong with me. I wondered if I was never meant to be a part of this world – a world where you’re expected to constantly embrace change with open arms, to move on from long, intense relationships in the blink of an eye if you suddenly find someone better, to let go of the friends who aren’t adding any value to your life anymore even though you’ve been with them for as long as you can remember, to leave a job you love without saying a word because your boss just decided to hire someone better.

I get it if people don’t cry when they replace their old car with a new one, if their hair gets drastically changed due to a stupid haircut decision, or if they shift to a new house in the same town. But I wondered if they really don’t feel anything even when the relationships and the people around them keep changing all the time. And if they do feel something and if these changes do mess with their mind and heart, then how do they keep functioning so normally after that? How do they accept this uncertainty in life without any protest? How do they get themselves to forget the past and just focus on the present and on the days that lie ahead of them?


I’ve lived in this world for 23 years with all these feelings and questions relentlessly roaming around my mind, keeping me up on various nights, and making me feel unsure of every single thing around me. I wish I could follow this up by claiming that I’ve found the ultimate answer to everything but that won’t be true. However, all hope still isn’t lost yet. I have learnt partial answers and I’m writing this article today to help out anyone who has ever felt this way, and to give them strength in knowing that they’re not alone.
The first and most important answer I learnt was that I am not alone. I’m not the only one who feels lost in this world. I’m not the only one who feels uncomfortable when I meet new people. I’m not the only one who is scared of going to places I’ve never seen before. I’m not the only one who isn’t sure of what their true purpose is in life. And I’m not the only one who’s constantly scared of what lies ahead in life. I’m not alone in all of this and neither are you!
The second and most important thing I’ve realized is that change isn’t always an evil force. Just because things are changing in life doesn’t mean that things are getting bad. In fact, more often than not, it actually brings a new kind of excitement and positivity in your life, even when you don’t exactly realize it. If you never change, if you never innovate, if you never look for new and better opportunities, and if you don’t move on to different people, you get stuck at a point where there’s no growth, where you stay just for the sake of staying, and where you start feeling indifferent, sometimes even resentful towards everything and everyone.

Every single person you’ve ever loved and every single experience that made you feel alive has become a part of you for eternity. You will remember them when you’re having a bad day and you just need to think of something to smile about. You will remember them when you’re making a tough call and you need to think of how your smart friend from university would have acted. You will remember them when you go for an interview and you have so many emotions and lessons to talk about.

So there’s no point in feeling depressed for months, weeks or even days about the friend who has moved to a different city, about the job you left behind, and even about the partner who ended things with you. They’re still here. They will live in your heart forever. And whether you realize this yet or not, this was exactly the right time for you to move on to something better, something more meaningful, something different!