ABUSIVE MARRIAGE

 

Some people says that some people are naturally abusive to people that no matter what you do they will never be pleased, they will always see wrong in all you do. If there is that kind of person then that person has a problem and he or she needs to talk to people that can help him or her

Now let’s look at the meaning of abuse. Abuse is using harsh, insulting language, and also using or involving physical violence or emotional cruelty abusive behavior. Now we will narrow it down to an abusive marriage and how it being.

An abuse marriage doesn’t just start from the beginning of a marriage, it takes step by step and if you don’t stop it from where it begin it will grow into something you can’t control. Every marriage begin lovingly. There is love, care and affection from the beginning of every marriage but all of a sudden things just turn around and you can’t even explain how it all started and turn into something worse. I will lay out things you will notice that will give you sign that your marriage is turning to an abusive marriage.

Signs that your marriage is turning to an abusive marriage.

1. Complain: A loving husband suddenly change from caring and correcting and begin to complain about everything you do why is this toilet not wash, why are you coming late from work and so on. He will never see right in things you do even when you try to please him. He will even complain about you to his friends and family. And when you talk he will never listen to you and you will wonder how your loving husband or even wife turn this kind of a person.

2. Little or no communication: When there is no communication, how do you pour out your heart. When a person is changing you will quickly notice in that person way of talking. He or she will never agree to what you are saying even when you are right. A loving partner that complains about everything will never give room for a communication that will bring about an understanding. Even when he or she try to listen, he or she will find a way to put the blame on you and give 100% to justify his or her actions and get angry at the end of the talk. Communication is one key in marriage and when that is out of it what then do you have.

3. Anger:  A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure. Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.  When complains start in marriage it not because of anger but when it grows that is when the complain is all the time it turn to anger and anger is a very terrible in marriage and it worse when you can’t you control it. At this stage you need to be calm and know what to do. Anger is like a strong wind. It calms down after a while but lots of branches are already broken. Results of anger are more painful than the reasons of anger.

4. Hatred: Dislike will come into play at this stage everything you do will look bad and your partner will hate everything and he/she will never see what you do right and quarrying will always happen at every point and every time. Hatred is bad in a marriage because the love you feel at the beginning will be gone and you will even wonder if there is love in this marriage in the first place.

5. Dishonesty: Dishonesty is deceitfulness shown in someone's character or behavior. At this point the trust you both have in it each other is gone. You partner will always question your every move and what you do. You wont be able to relied on your partner anymore infect you will be tired at this point and you will want to correct everything but the peace you feel is gone and you will act in anger and this will triage  the anger in your husband and it will make him raise his hand on you and immediately beating start it will continue and at every little mistake he will hit you and you might hit him back and it will lead to fighting  and it will get worse and the hatred will grow to the highest and families will get involved and try to bring peace but since the hared is there it will be difficult to bring back the love you both feel in the first place.  Even when you both talk to a counselor you will still wonder why there is no change and your partner will start going out to drink or be with other women to find peace.  When all this is taking place in marriage the both parties will start dripping apart from each other and every love, care, understanding, trust is all gone and the husband might start sleeping out and might not even say that he is not coming home and even when you call he will response in anger not showing care at all and when he comes home and the wife ask about his where about, it will result to beating.   A man that always beat his wife is a fool I will say because you can’t take it if another man raise his on your sister so why go far by beating the person you swear to love and respect. I will advise that at this stage separation is advice for both parties.  Both parties needs to go separate way to have a re-think over what happen and how to seek for help.

Let’s look the different kind of abuse

 Sensation/Emotional Abuse: sensation and emotion goes together. Sensation is a physical feeling or perception resulting from something that happens to or comes into contact with the body while Emotion is a strong feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood. When a person is being abuse by the person he or she love and care for, there is this feeling of being scared of beating or life treating in marriage or even relationship the person will start feeling like a victim in marriage and will be emotionally down and it will start affection both physical and mentally of that person..

Mistreatment/Physical Abuse: The act of mistreatment is an ill-treatment cruel or inhumane treatment that lead to physical abuse of a person. Physical abuse is any intentional act causing injury or trauma . These involve physical harm in a range of ways, such as grabbing, hitting, punching, or shoving sometime throwing object.

Sexual abuse: Sexual abuse, also referred to as molestation, is abusive sexual behavior by one person upon another. It is often perpetrated using force or by taking. Sexual abuse come into marriage when the love and care is gone. When both partner forgot how it feels to love each other again and the will of love is gone and anytime they want to have sex it will by force in which when the wife refuse to have sex with the husband he will want to use force. Maybe after beating her and he tries to kiss or have sex with her, he will want to use force. He will think that is his way of saying sorry for hitting her

 Intimidation:  The action of intimidating someone, or the state of being intimidated eg frightening, menacing, terrifying scaring, alarming. There will be fear in the mind of the person who feel he or she is being intimidated be it the woman or the man but mostly women.

An abuse marriage is a bad experience for a person to go through in life. It can break you and destroy everything you believe. You might not even be able to overcome from it and sometime the person that is being abuse can commit suicide and that it for the person. Never take being abuse for granted in marriage or relationship even as life general. Speak about it and stay away from that kind of person. Don’t try to change the person. It the person that will change himself because the more you try to make the person see reason, he or she will see it as a way of you trying to be the boss over him especially the men.

Everyone hope and wish for a sweet, loving marriage or relationship but when it turn to the kind that fighting, beating, quarrying and so on and so on just stay away to save your life emotionally.

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